“Do You Do Lawns Too?”

You won’t go wrong taking the high road and giving people the benefit of the doubt.

I want to share a personal story that has stayed with me for years and taught me invaluable lessons about taking the high road, giving people the benefit of the doubt, and not looking for trouble. This story begins with a simple question: “Do you do lawns, too?”

The Encounter

About twenty years ago, my family and I were living in San Francisco on Union Street, right where it dead-ends into the Presidio. One day, I was outside trimming the bougainvilleas in front of our house when an older white woman approached me and asked, “Do you do lawns, too?”

My initial reaction was one of indignation. I thought, “Just because I'm Japanese-American, you assume I’m the yard man?” I responded to her, “Because I’m Japanese-American, you think I’m the yard man, right? But I own this place.” She quickly backtracked, saying, “No, no, not at all. You’re just doing such a great job with the bougainvilleas, I wanted to know if you do lawns.”

The exact bougainvillea in front of my old house in the Presidio.

A Lesson in Perspective

A couple of weeks later, my father visited me from Hawaii. He was a second-generation Japanese-American who had served in the U.S. Army. I expected him to be outraged by the woman’s question.

After all, I had gone to Stanford, worked for Apple, and written several books. But to my surprise, he said, “Son, on Union Street, in San Francisco, a Japanese guy trimming a hedge, statistically, most likely you were the yard man, so get over it.”

Key Messages and Learning Points

This experience taught me several key lessons that have shaped my outlook on life and my interactions with others. And it made me very difficult to offend.

1. Don’t Look for Problems: My father’s response reminded me not to seek out problems where there might be none. Sometimes, people’s intentions are not as malicious as we think.

2. Take the High Road: Instead of reacting with anger or indignation, it’s often better to take the high road and respond with grace.

3. Give People the Benefit of the Doubt: My father’s advice to give the woman the benefit of the doubt was a powerful reminder that not every comment or question is rooted in prejudice.

4. Don’t Let What People Say Get to You: Ever since that day, it has been hard to insult me. Life is easier when you aren’t easily offended.

A Time to Correct

Fast forward to 2022, and I interviewed Frederick Joseph, a black activist and author. I repeated the story to him and asked him what would have been a better course of action for me.

He gave me a GREAT answer by sharing his perspective that this kind of situation is an opportunity to help people learn how they are perceived. That is, I should have given her the benefit of the doubt and said something along the lines of:

You probably don’t even realize it, but your question can be considered offensive. I could jump to the conclusion that you asked this because I was Japanese-American. I’m sure you didn’t mean to offend me.

We can’t ignore the fact that in some situations there could be racism (even if unintentional) present. But it is our job to kindly call out the behavior and possible biases and foster having more people on the high road.

Listen to Frederick’s episode here.

Conclusion

The question, “Do you do lawns, too?” could have been a source of lasting resentment. Instead, it became a formative experience that taught me to approach life with humility, resilience, and open-mindedness. I hope this story inspires you to take the high road and try to fill in potholes on the way.

Stay remarkable,

Guy Kawasaki

Don’t miss this week’s episode on the Remarkable People podcast. Unlock the secrets to spontaneous, confident communication. Communication expert Matt Abrahams shares proven techniques to speak successfully when put on the spot!

Check it out here.

By the way, my newest book Think Remarkable is now available and you can purchase it here.

That’s all for now!