How to Be Remarkably Kind

A guide to achieving success while staying humble and kind.

Being remarkable doesn’t mean being ruthless. In fact, the most remarkable people—Jane Goodall, Bob Cialdini, Kristi Yamaguchi—are also the kindest. They’ve proven that you can make a difference, achieve greatness, and still treat people with respect.

Here’s how to stand out without stepping on others:

Default to Empathy

Remarkable people understand others’ perspectives. Whether you’re negotiating a deal or mentoring a team, empathy builds trust and fosters collaboration. Remember, it’s not about winning every argument—it’s about creating win-win outcomes.

Be Generous with Credit

Give credit where it’s due. No one succeeds alone, and acknowledging others’ contributions shows humility and gratitude. Marc Benioff, for example, is known for celebrating his team’s achievements, not just his own.

Practice Radical Candor

Be honest, but don’t be harsh. Kim Scott’s concept of radical candor—caring personally while challenging directly—is a masterclass in giving feedback without being a jerk. It’s about helping others grow, not tearing them down.

Stay Humble

Remarkably kind people don’t need to brag. They let their work speak for itself. As Bob Cialdini would say, true influence comes from authenticity, not arrogance. Kindness and arrogance are mutually exclusive.

Uplift Others

Use your platform to amplify other voices. Whether it’s mentoring a junior colleague or promoting someone else’s idea, lifting others up makes you remarkable by association. Jane Goodall’s lifelong commitment to empowering young conservationists is a perfect example.

Be Resilient, Not Ruthless

Perseverance is key to being remarkable, but don’t let ambition prevent kindness. Angela Duckworth’s research on grit shows that resilience and passion—not cutthroat tactics—drive long-term success.

Listen More, Talk Less

Remarkable people are great listeners. They seek to understand before being understood. Listening isn’t just polite—it’s a superpower that helps you learn, connect, and innovate.

Be Kind, Not Nice

Kindness is about doing what’s right, even when it’s hard. Niceness, on the other hand, often avoids conflict at the expense of integrity. Choose kindness—it’s what makes people remember you for the right reasons.

Focus on Impact, Not Ego

Remarkable people aim to make a difference, not just a name for themselves. Whether it’s solving a problem, inspiring change, or creating something beautiful, focus on the value you bring to others.

Conclusion

Being remarkably kind isn’t about being the loudest, richest, or coolest person in the room. It’s about making a meaningful impact while staying true to your values. If it takes being a jerk to stand out in the room, you’re in the wrong room.

Mahalo!

Guy